Directory for Ecumenism - Comment (12th March)

Mixed Marriages

Aloysius Ssegwanyi

            I know a couple from two different Christian Churches, a Catholic woman and an Anglican man. They have lived in this relationship for more than 20years. In this period of time, they have learnt to be open to people of other religions and to accept them; also their different backgrounds have fostered prayer life in the family. Nevertheless, the main challenge of such a union is the question of the faith in which the children are to be raised. And to what extent should the one partner compromise his faith for the sake of the marriage.

            In preparing a couple for a mixed marriage, some topics are worth discussing, for instance, the  need for each partner to understand the religious convictions,, background and practices of the other, while not neglecting the fundamental importance of prayer in marriage. [Directory for Ecumenism, No.149]. The Sacramental life of the partners too, has to be talked about, to see whether there can be a provision, for the other person to receive Sacraments under normal circumstances.

            Furthermore, for a mixed marriage to take place, the following conditions have to be put into consideration; Instructing both parties on the essential ends and properties of marriage [No.150], the Catholic party should not abandon his/her faith, the children have to be baptized and educated in the Catholic faith. It is the obligation of the Catholic partner, to create a Christian atmosphere in the home, if the Catholic faith is to be transmitted to the children, even though they are not raised as Catholics. In addition to that, he/she is to impart the values of the Catholic Tradition to the family members, through word and example. The partner should be well-informed about the faith so that he/ she should explain it to the family members. Above all is the indispensable need for prayer.

            As far as the validity of the marriage is concerned, we should not forget the ‘canonical form’. That is; Consent of the partners before a Church minister, and the presence of a witness. These have to be in place. However, a dispensation can be granted by the Local Ordinary, due to reasons of maintaining harmony  in the family, recognition of particular religious commitment of the non-Catholic partner, obtaining parental consent to the marriage. In the celebration of a mixed – marriage in the presence of a non- Catholic minister, he can be allowed to offer an intercession and to give a word of advice to the newly married. The same applies to a Catholic minister present at a marriage celebration of a Catholic partner, in a non-Catholic community.

It would not be a good idea as such, to have a ‘garden wedding’ but for Pastoral reasons, it can be permitted where the marriage can not take place in the Church.          

            In the Celebration of the Eucharist for a mixed marriage, the non-Catholic partner can commune, but only for that particular occasion. The priest administers the Eucharist to the partners. However, the  non-Catholic minister,  should not concelebrate.